Tips for Family and Friends

Things you can do to help a smoker

1. My friend does not want to quit
2. My friend is thinking about quitting but has not set a quit date
3. My friend has chosen a date and is getting ready to quit
4. My friend is trying to quit now
5. If I'm a smoker - can I still help?
6. My friend has started smoking again

My friend does not want to quit

• Let them know that you care about them no matter what they decide to do about their smoking.
• Let them know you care about their health and will help them quit when they are ready.
• Protect your own health. Ask the smoker not to smoke around you or smoke outdoors.

My friend is thinking about quitting but has not set a quit date

• Let your friend choose their own time to try to quit.
• Let your friend know that you think they are great whether they are able to quit now or later.
• If they mention quitting, let them know you believe they can do it.
• Find out what quit resources are available in your community. Let your friend know you have the information when they may be ready to use it.

My friend has chosen a date and is getting ready to quit

• If they have a plan to quit they will have thought of ways to cope with their urges to smoke. Don't make fun of whatever they choose.
• Try giving something up yourself.

My friend is trying to quit now

• Listen to your friend. Respect what they are feeling and doing without judging or offering advice.
• Ask what you can do.
• Be sympathetic about any discomforts from withdrawal.
• Your friend may want to change some activities you do together to avoid temptation. You may feel left out. Try to join your friend in other interests or just be available to talk to when they need you.
• Many smokers worry about gaining weight - and some will. Tell them they look great. If they decide to eat differently or exercise more, help them do it.
• Offering rewards may be helpful - but it can also make some smokers feel bad if they do not succeed right away. Be sensitive to their wants and needs.

If I'm a smoker - can I still help?

Yes. Here are some ideas:

• Remember even though your friend no longer wants to smoke they still want to be your friend.
• You do not have to quit yourself to still help your friend stop smoking.
• Support all their plans and quit attempts.
• Avoid smoking at times and places where your friend may feel most helpless to say no.
• Do not encourage them to start smoking again.

My friend has started smoking again

Let them know that you understand that quitting is hard. Encourage them to keep on trying.

Adapted with permission from the Canadian Cancer Society (2005).